Quotes of the Week
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#30370 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-02 22:51 GMT
[14:32:45] <dexter111344> I was so scared.
[14:32:49] <dexter111344> I was petrified.
[14:33:32] <Dark_Apostrophe> Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
[14:34:33] <Luvvy> thanks, DA
[14:34:38] <Luvvy> never thought I'd hear that from you
[14:34:40] <Luvvy> ^_^
[14:36:44] <Dark_Apostrophe> Luvvy: My bad. I could live without you quite easily.
[14:37:16] <Dark_Apostrophe> In fact, I already do. It's quite awesome.
[14:37:16] <Olipro> hahahaha
[14:37:26] <dexter111344> PWNED!
[14:47:54] <Luvvy> that's good, because I can't have too many guys who can't live without me...
[14:48:08] <Luvvy> just the one is a handful
[14:48:30] <Dark_Apostrophe> Stockholm syndrome?
[14:49:12] <Olipro> hahahaha
[14:49:22] <dexter111344> Lulz.
[14:49:57] <dexter111344> The poor guy. Let him free, LUVVY!
[14:54:38] <dexter111344> Luvvy: How do you personally perform a blowjob on a monkey? -
#30368 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-02 22:51 GMT
21:41 < rcmurphy> Who the heck is Ashley?
21:43 < lstarnes> rcmurphy: probably that prostitute I hired last night
21:43 < rcmurphy> Gah.
21:43 < rcmurphy> No matter how good a lay she is, she shouldn't be opped for it.
21:44 < lstarnes> well she was either going to make me op her or I she was going to turn me into the cops for hiring a prostitute
21:45 < rcmurphy> That seems to be a risky thing to do for a prostitute.
21:45 < lstarnes> well, we did make you a bureaucrat
21:46 < rcmurphy> Right, for running the site.
21:46 < rcmurphy> For like two years.
21:47 < lstarnes> I must have you confused with Olipro and admins confused with bureaucrats -
#30366 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-02 22:52 GMT
[01:49] == RomanAssBanned has changed nick to RAHB
[01:49] <RAHB> testing
[01:49] <RAHB> DURRRRRR LOOK AT ME I LOVE FRANK ZAPPA AND ALICE COOPER
[01:49] <RAHB> CHECK OUT MY MUSIC YO
[01:50] == RAHB has changed nick to RomanAssmunch
[01:50] <RomanAssmunch> That sucked.
[01:50] <ColinAYB> Register RomanAHB
[01:54] <RomanAssmunch> Uh, oh boy. How do I that? I know I registered my name, but that was like, ages ago?
[01:55] <ColinAYB> /nickserv group RomanAHB
[01:55] <ColinAYB> I think
[01:56] <RomanAssmunch> Uhhhhh.....
[01:56] == RomanAssmunch has changed nick to RomanDogBird
[01:57] <RomanDogBird> Well then.
[01:57] <ColinAYB> Did it work?
[01:58] <RomanDogBird> Well, I need to be logged in, and "RomanDogBird" isn't registered.
[01:58] <RomanDogBird> So like, I'm stupid and stuff.
[01:59] <ColinAYB> hah -
#30363 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-05 04:59 GMT
<sannse> the community section is at community.wikia now
<rcmurphy> Ain't nothing at community.wikia, Sannse.
<rcmurphy> Don't misdirect me.
<rcmurphy> The last one who tried ended up sleeping with the fishes.
<sannse> hummm?
<rcmurphy> Oh right, forgot the .com.
<rcmurphy> We're cool.
<Andorin> Ah, christ. -
#30358 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 15:09 GMT
* TKFeck sets mode +m #uncyclopedia
<Andorin> :<
* TKFeck removes ban on *!*@eugenekay.com
<TKFeck> shhhhh
<TKFeck> dont tell him
<Andorin> ;)
* EugeneDrinKing (eugenekay@eugenekay.com) has joined #uncyclopedia
<Andorin> Welcome back
<TKFeck> hey eugene
<Andorin> So does anyone have anything interesting to talk about?
<TKFeck> well i'm still waiting for eugene to say hello
<charitwo> raw, unlubed butt sex
<TKFeck> oooh that sure sounds interesting though
<Andorin> Yes, what an inconsiderate asshole.
<Andorin> Why doesn't he say something?>
<TKFeck> i dont know it just doesnt make sense
<Andorin> We go out of our way to greet him and he ignores us.
<TKFeck> kids these days
<charitwo> He thinks he's better than us
<charitwo> better than them
<Andorin> >_>
<TKFeck> man
<TKFeck> thinks he's better than me???
<TKFeck> i'll show him the old what-how
* TKFeck sets ban on *!*@eugenekay.com
* TKFeck has kicked EugeneDrinKing from #uncyclopedia (EugeneDrinKing) -
#1043 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 15:05 GMT
<Codeine> "Your presence reminds one of a blind jackal, eternally dependent upon misguided archbishops to provide instruction in bowling."
<Kalir> Jackals can't bowl.
<Codeine> That's why they need instruction.
<Codeine> Duh.
<Kalir> Archbishops can't bowl either.
<Codeine> Yeah, but the jackals don't know that.Notes: Yay non-sequiturs.
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#986 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-01 00:47 GMT
<Olipro> you know, the other day
<Olipro> I came across a keyboard, and someone had changed all the letters for offensive words
<Olipro> and they'd actually gone round the room
<Olipro> nicking keys from other computers
<TheoB> haha
<Olipro> just for that single one
<Olipro> sort of thing you expect from a school
<TheoB> indeed
<Codeine> that's great
<Olipro> the keys are:
<Olipro> WANKERCUNT
<Olipro> FUCKSHITS
<Olipro> CUNTYMINTS
<Olipro> (they'd replaced the punctuation for the bottom line)
<Codeine> lol, "cuntymints"
<Olipro> I think cuntymints is pretty funny
<Olipro> heh, yeah
<Codeine> Let's start saying that
<Codeine> see if we can introduce it to the English language
<Olipro> introducting; Fresh, New, Cuntymints! -
#800 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 15:05 GMT
-> ayeroxor has joined uncyclopedia
<rcmurphy> Hey ayeroxor.
<rcmurphy> Want to be Noob of the Month?
<Tompkins> heh
<ayeroxor> heh, um, hmm...
<ayeroxor> if you can tell me why uncyclopedia thinks it's March 19th
<ayeroxor> (via the {{currentday}} function)
<Tompkins> BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!
<ayeroxor> I thought it might be that
<rcmurphy> Tompkins, is that also why VFP got so bad?
<rcmurphy> Because ayeroxor touches himself at night?
<Tompkins> Indeed
<rcmurphy> Thanks a lot, ayeroxor.
<Tompkins> It all points to you ayeroxor
<ayeroxor> damn, these things really do have far-reaching repercussions.
<ayeroxor> sorry guys -
#580 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 11:13 GMT
<AcidAmmo> Wow. Kid_Azeri and Singaporekid are like enemies
<rcmurphy> The Azeris and Singaporites have a long history of enmity.
<Singaporekid> :o
<rcmurphy> Their IRC Wars are legendary.
* Kid_Azeri pokes Singaporekid
* Singaporekid dies
* Kid_Azeri wins
<rcmurphy> The wars have gotten milder over time. -
#553 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 15:05 GMT
* Gostie has joined #uncyclopedia
<Codeine> Heh.
<Codeine> I always do a double take when Gostie comes in
<Gostie> I have that effect on people
<Codeine> "* Goatse has joined #uncyclopedia"
<Codeine> "oh phew, it says Gostie"
...
<Suresh> Codeine: Screw you - you made me Google on Goatse!
<Suresh> Yick!
<Codeine> but... why?
<Codeine> surely you knew?
<Suresh> Now I gotta write something about the ancient wisdom of Goa Tse to cleanse my mind
<Suresh> Codeine: Knew what? The way to the Golden Gutters of Red Light Web Harbor District?
<Codeine> Suresh: You didn't know what Goatse was? Really?
<Codeine> Ouch.
<Codeine> Oh well, no going back now
* Suresh sobs
<Suresh> I had purified my mind for 6 reincarnations...
<Suresh> all undone now...
<Gostie> my karma hurts since I was indirectly responsible for thatNotes: And another one of the last few remaining "Goatse Virgins" falls to the Dark Side.
- C -
#447 Up↑ Down↓ [Report] 2010-08-29 15:05 GMT
rcmurphy: Last week this girl knocked on my door...
rcmurphy: And she was like, "Are you ___?"
rcmurphy: And I said no.
rcmurphy: And she was like, "Ok. Want to see my turtles?"
rcmurphy: And she had like five little turtles in a cardboard box.
...
Zombiebaron: rc, so did you and her get it on?
...
rcmurphy: If by "get it on" you mean "look at her turtles"...
rcmurphy: And if by "turtles" I mean the animal and not some kind of weird sexual euphemism...
rcmurphy: Then yes, we got it on.
Zombiebaron: word
Zombiebaron: thats awesome
Zombiebaron: jigga shit